CONFIRMATION: The Art of Teaching Reel #5B Classroom Management 2

 Classroom Management 102

Here you go, friends, the second reel for managing those young teens in confirmation class. Hope these tips are helpful. 

CONFIRMATION: The Art of Teaching Reel #5A Classroom Management 1

 Classroom Management 101 

Here's part 1 of the biggie; the one pastors ask me about most. It's about managing a class. Part 2 is about managing individual students.  

CONFIRMATION: The Art of Teaching Reel #4 Sermon Notes

Does anyone appreciate sermon notes? 

Some pastors use them to track worship attendance; some kids don't even think about what they write; and some parents just see them as busywork. What can we do to fix that? Find out here. 

CONFIRMATION: The Art of Teaching Reel #3 Accountabiity

 What's the big deal with accountability? I do that!

Do you? What does it look like? 

As teachers of the faith, we teach kids the most important information they will learn in their lifetime. How do you make sure they're learning it? Find out here. 

CONFIRMATION: The Art of Teaching Reel #2 Memory

Why memory work? 

As teachers of the faith, we want our students to commit scripture to memory. I know why I think it's important, but you need to know why you think it's important and be able to share that with parents and students. Here's why.

     

 Now that you know why you want confirmation students to memorize scripture, it helps to know how to get that done successfully. As we all know, most kids lose it by the time they get confirmed. How do we keep that from happening? Here's how.

 

CONFIRMATION: The Art of Teaching Reel #1 Purpose

The Art of Teaching the Faith, Reels with Laura #1

Sometimes we think that it doesn't matter how we teach confirmation. We survived it, and our kids will survive it, too. But is that what we really want in a society that is less and less interested in Christianity and more and more interested in convincing people that it makes no sense in the world today, people are much less civil, kids are encouraged to disrespect anyone older than them, and there really is no authority? No. We want our kids to have faith and follow the Lord so they can live in God's grace. That's why the way we teach the faith, especially in confirmation, matters. 

With the desire to help anyone who teaches confirmation love it, and teach it more effectively to middle schoolers, I'm creating some reels based on my book, The Art of Teaching Confirmation. Every year we think teaching well is unimportant, we fail. You can find the videos on my website, teachthefaith.org/confirmation, on YouTube, and I'll be posting them here. They're short, practical, and, as is my goal in teaching, will get you to think.   Here's the first one: Purpose & Goal

PARENTS: Dad - Please Help With My Child's Behavior in Church

Please Help With My Child's Behavior in Church

Can you relate to any of this? 

(From a dad who attends a Catholic church.) 

1. We arrive after the processional… because we are somehow unable to get the kids in the car and ready to go in the amount of time that we think we can.
2. We sit down, and my kids are well-behaved for all of 3 seconds.
3. The oldest one then begins to loudly talk about how he doesn’t want to be there
4. He then begins to bang on the pew
5. I try to have him sit on my lap, but he wriggles free and tries to climb under the pew
6. I drag him back and sternly tell him to sit still. He sits for a few moments, and the Gloria starts.
7. My son then begins to sing the Alleluia as loud as he can while we are singing the Gloria
8. Dirty looks occur from the people in front of us
9. As the first reading starts, my other son poops out of his diaper, and I have to run out to grab the diapers we forgot in the car.
10. I take the younger boy out to get his diaper changed
11. When I come back, the homily is starting, and my oldest boy is starting to go stir-crazy
12. I have to take him to the back in order to keep him from disturbing everyone as he begins to cry and whine about how he wants to go.
13. I miss the whole homily, but I have a nice chat with my son about what the readings were.
14. We come back in as the Creed begins… I hold him in my arms, but he won’t stop wiggling… I probably pay attention to 2-3 words that are said.
15. During the prayers of the people, I try to rephrase the petitions so that he understands them…. wiggling continues
16. During the Anaphora, the best I can do is stand in the back, praying to God that he won’t start yelling during the institution narrative this time… my prayers are not answered. More dirty looks ensue.
17. We say the Lord’s Prayer… and my son knows this one, but chooses to change the words to try to be silly. I try to tell him the Lord’s Prayer isn’t a time to be silly. He looks at me like I’m crazy.
18. We pass the peace…. he loves this part and yells “family hug!” as my wife comes over.
19. We sing the Angus Dei… he only knows one melody for this one, so he sings that melody, in spite of the fact that everyone else is singing a different arrangement. Dirty looks part three.
20. I tell him that it’s time for the special meal, and we go up together. He is mad that he doesn’t get anything and whines about it as the Priest blesses him. We head back to our seat.
21. From this point on, he continually asks me if mass is over until the announcements are done and the recessional hymn is sung.

[Retrieved from https://www.patheos.com/blogs/billykangas/2014/07/help-my-kids-are-wild-at-church.html] 

Many people have told me not to write about this because "We want kids in church no matter how they behave." But is that what's best for the child? As parents, are we to allow our kids to behave badly in church when we wouldn't allow it at a restaurant, museum, movie theater, or concert? Should we allow kids to be so disrespectful, rude, and noisy that the people around them cannot worship? Or should we be helpful to any parents who want help, like the woman above? I say, as people are called into ministry, we help.

First, Some (Hopefully Helpful) Information

Discipline is teaching or training kids to behave so that they learn to self-discipline. The goal is to help them develop internal self-control, character, and empathy so they don’t need external rewards. Discipline provides structure, safety, and guidance to help children learn to manage their emotions and to behave in certain ways despite how they feel. ALL children NEED discipline. It provides them with a sense of security, structure, and boundaries that they cannot provide themselves. Sometimes parents think their kids would be happier if they had more freedom, but that is not the case.

A lack of guided discipline can lead to children failing to learn self-regulation and essential life skills. If you see your child having poor behavioral control, difficulty respecting authority, and aggression when told "NO," you might want to ask yourself whether your current discipline plan could be contributing to the problem.

There are a few things that help with child discipline in church: consistency, consequences, and routines.

• Consistency. One of the simplest ways to improve a young child’s behavior is to be consistent about expectations. For children, especially those ages 3 to 6, consistency shows the power of kids knowing what to expect. When they don’t have it, they feel insecure, which leads them to continually test what they can and cannot get away with, potentially causing power struggles. There’s never a reason an adult should get into a power struggle with a child. Young children are learning cause and effect, and the adult teaches them by how they respond. If I do this… this happens. If a parent is tired and I push these buttons… this happens. The easiest way to deal with this is to give your child some choices before things escalate. Give two reasonable choices. You can have either of these for your church snack. Which do you choose? “I want candy!” You can have this or this. Pick one now, or you get nothing. 
• Consequences are very important. Kids need to learn that every action has a consequence, some good and some not so good. Some consequences work better than others for young kids. For example, a time-out can help them calm down. Without that time to wind down, they often resort to aggression, often toward parents or siblings. When this happens in church, it’s a good time to take them out of the sanctuary for a time-out. They’ll calm down; you can nicely remind them of the church rules and ask if they’re ready to go back in. Leaving the sanctuary is a time to help them calm down, not a trip to a playground or a playroom. The goal is to help them manage their own behavior. 
• Routines help with consistency because children learn what to expect. Bedtime goes much better if there’s a routine: pajamas, teeth, story, prayer, lights off. Chaotic environments (things constantly changing) often lead to behavior problems. Being consistent and developing routines when parenting can take time and energy, but the results later on are definitely worth the effort up front. What is your pre-church routine? Is it chaotic and rushing, which can trigger a burst of adrenaline in children, or calm and consistent?

So, What About Church?

Church is a unique environment. It’s similar to going to a nice restaurant, a concert, a movie, or a museum, where certain behaviors are expected: speaking quietly, managing emotions, respecting those around you, and following certain rules. These are not things that need to be skipped because of behavior. Kids just need to be taught the rules and what they look like, and to practice at home. 

What are the rules? The rules in church are about simple activities regarding respecting the worship service, the church building and its furniture, and the people.

Church Rules

• Using our quiet voice.
• Walking feet in the church sanctuary (the room where the altar is).
• Keeping shoes on the floor, not on the furniture. It’s never a problem until somebody has muddy shoes.
• Sitting, not climbing on the pews. Furniture is not a playground.
• Cleaning up your things before you leave.

When you consistently talk about these things when children are younger, the sooner they will think them for themselves or just make a habit of doing them.

If you want your child to be quiet through a worship service, you have to teach them to be quiet (not to be silent), but to play quietly, and that takes time.

• Offer choices – we can stay here, or I can take you out.
• Natural consequences – removing a child from worship for being disruptive only needs to be applied a few times before they begin to expect it.
• Treats before church don’t encourage good behavior during church. They should be given only occasionally after church.
• Treats should not be used as a bribe to stop misbehavior in the moment. Giving a child a piece of candy to sit down will only last until they get it and eat it.
• Only bring quiet toys, and while screens are babysitters, they don’t help a child learn self-control or manage their emotions. Some toys do not belong in church.
• Step out – remove the child from the service to sit outside until he can behave. This is not a fun field trip or an opportunity to play outside, which will teach them that if they’re bad enough, they get a reward. Time-out will not work at church if you don’t use it at home.

What You Can Do at Home

Practice Church Behaviors with Games – If a child wins the game, they can earn a prize, but the only way to win is to do it for a reasonable amount of time. Start with 3 minutes for 3-year-olds, and add 1 minute for each additional year.

• Simulate Church – Show me what a good boy looks like at church
• The Sofa is the Pew – Find something to do and see if they can be quiet doing it for 5 minutes (5 minutes can seem like a long time for them).
• The Quiet Game – The goal is for children to stay silent and still for as long as possible. You’ll be lucky to get them to go a whole minute at first. Try asking what sounds they can hear.
• The Quiet Game 2 – Instead of just silence, challenge them to be quiet with the TV on.
• Whisper Game – Pass a word around by whispering. Young children are challenged to talk quietly.
• Rub My Back (Write Letters on My Back) – You can also rub an arm or massage a hand, both of which are very relaxing.

Some say that children raised by one disciplining parent and one lenient parent are often confused, anxious, and have behavioral issues due to inconsistent rules and boundary setting. This is not really a problem. Eventually, they will figure out which parent they can manipulate and which one they can’t. If you are the lenient parent, they will learn to manipulate you. It’s important for church attendance that parents who live together share the same expectations for kids five and under's behavior in church. If parents don’t live together, kids can learn what to expect at each parent’s home and will behave accordingly. 

I sincerely hope this information helps those of you who have been looking for tips on teaching and encouraging your young children about behavior during worship. 

THANKSGIVING: Blessings in Disguise - What's Yours?

As Christians, we are thankful for the blessings God gives us throughout the year and our lives; however, we take special time to reflect on these blessings on Thanksgiving Day. Many families will go around the table telling each other what they’re most thankful for: family and friends, having a job or getting a new job, their health, their home, and many of the luxuries that make our lives easier or more fun. Hopefully, Christians include Jesus, our Savior, who gave us the greatest gift: salvation. These are things that are easy to be thankful for, especially if we’ve known life without them, but what are we missing? Can we look more deeply and consider things we often disregard as something to be thankful for?

The things we often forget are the things about ourselves and others that may not seem worth giving thanks for, because we cannot see how God might use them or how God can use even them to bless us. These things are less obvious but worth considering because God uses good and bad things in our lives to bless us!

Sometimes, losing a job, getting a disease, having a home burn down, losing a friend or family member, relationship problems, problems with mean kids at school, or any number of other things we wish didn’t happen, can be used by God to bless us. Thanksgiving is a great time to pause, reflect, and be thankful for things we might not have considered blessings in the moment. For example, when I found out I was diabetic, I was devastated, but not too long after that bad day, I look back and see that God turned it into a blessing. I feel better and am healthier than I would ever have been.

Things can always be looked at from different perspectives. Things that seem good to us may not be so good from God’s perspective, and things that seem bad to us may be used by God to help us grow closer to Him, which is always good.

Think for a moment about all the people God used in the Bible. No human is perfect, even if they’re in the Bible, but God chooses people for reasons beyond the worldly values we see and are proud of. He looks deeper. When Samuel was looking for a king to replace Saul, as he looked at David’s good-looking and strong older brother Eliab, God said to him, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart” (1 Samuel 6:7).

We often look at things from a worldly, materialistic point of view. We compare our lives to what we see around us, and that’s what we’re thankful for or wish we could change. However, God’s point of view is not about this world, but the next. It’s not about what we have, can earn, or do, but about what our heart and faith show. We are all as human as everyone in the Bible. We get up every day, put on our clothes, and, good or bad, do what we do. If you read about the people below in the Bible, you can see their mistakes — some seemingly more serious than others — but if you take a moment to look at it from a Thanksgiving point of view, you can see that we can learn from them as well.

This Thanksgiving, try to look at them, and then at the people in your life that may be hard to love sometimes, and then at yourself. What is negative in your life that you can learn from and God can use to teach you and bring you closer to Him?

This Thanksgiving, consider that in spite of the negative things in the people below, God used

• Abraham to remind us to hear God, listen, have faith, and follow Him, even when the path is unclear.
• Sarah to show us that faith grows slowly sometimes, and God doesn’t give up on us if we doubt.
• Jacob to show us that God meets us in our weakness, not in our perfection.
• Rebekah to remind us that we need to wait for God’s time and be content with His will.
• Joseph to teach us that even when life feels unfair and confusing, God is working for us in ways we can’t see, and is also working through us for the good of others.
• Moses to teach us that God equips those whom He calls through their doubts, fears, and failures; God can use a willing heart.
• Joshua to show us that success comes from courage, obedience, and trusting God’s promises, especially when the battle seems unwinnable.
• Ruth to teach us that faith is not just about belief, but about choosing love, integrity, and courage.
• Hannah to show us that we can trust God with both our grief and our gifts.
• Samuel to teach us that spiritual maturity begins with listening to God, who speaks to us through His Word.
• Saul to show us how arrogance, ambition, and pride can lead to partial disobedience, which is still disobedience.
• David, even as a man after God’s own heart, to teach us that even if we make very bad choices, God never leaves us because of behavior, and with true repentance, we can be restored.
• Jonathan to give us an example of true friendship.
• Solomon to warn us how easy it is to take and use God’s gifts to His glory, but through the danger of compromise, can still fall away.
• Nehemiah to teach us that when we have obstacles to overcome, we should start with prayer, stay focused, don’t listen to hecklers, and listen to God.
• Daniel to remind us that moral courage can thrive in hostile environments, and spiritual integrity can influence culture; it is possible to live boldly as Christians without losing our identity.
• Jonah to show us that we can disagree with God’s plan, but it’s not wise to ignore it or try to outrun His calling. Disobedience has consequences. Bitterness blocks joy. God is interested in your heart and your motivations.
• All of the believers through the ages who have passed down the faith through God’s Word and Sacraments, by living it, talking about it, and showing it, we can do that as well.

These are only a handful of the regular sinners in the Bible who have given us blessings in disguise. Our lives are filled with blessings that we don’t recognize: blessings in disguise. We may not recognize the wonderful blessings we receive from those in the Bible, or the blessings in disguise. We need to look for them because they’re usually things we think are negative and don’t see how God used them to bless us.

This year, when you’re going around the Thanksgiving table, instead of everyone telling each other that they’re thankful for family, friends, their job, a new car, etc. Ask them, “What has happened in your life this past year that turned out to be a blessing in disguise?” Give everyone a couple of minutes to find their blessing in disguise to share. Then try to hang on to those all year and keep looking for them. Thanksgiving is about being thankful for God’s unexpected blessings and blessings in disguise all year long. Keep looking. You’ll be surprised at how many you find.

ADULTS: Parenting When They've Grown

I've been writing articles for Family Shield Ministries and want to share them here. The first one I'm sharing is the most recent, October 2025.

 

A Portrait of Today's Young Adults

Many things affect the description of a generation. That information helps parents see things from their child’s perspective, not only their own. Through technology, the changes in society and the world have happened much more quickly for recent generations than they did for us. Thanks to smartphones, social media, and a constant connection with everything good or evil on the internet, they have been exposed to or experienced things we never would have at a much younger age. A portrait of today’s young adults includes the following:

• They may be technologically fluent, but are emotionally searching.
• Their world is a place of constant fear-mongering where news is manipulated, and their source of information is rarely true. The sky is ALWAYS falling.
• They carry the weight of every global crisis without the emotional maturity to understand it or the experience to put it in its place.
• They are hyper-connected, but often lonely, craving real connections because emojis and likes or notifications do not help create a feeling of belonging.
• They have trouble connecting with other humans without being able to hide behind a phone, and tend to end relationships without really connecting.
• They open themselves up to dangerous people and situations without even knowing it.
• They have been groomed to be justice-minded, but aren’t exposed to all sides of a situation and don’t know how to see a problem from multiple perspectives.
• They are SEARCHING FOR GOD, but the world keeps telling them that the ONE true God is not real, and believing in Him is stupid.

They Live Differently Than You Expected 

As parents, when we look at the world from our adult child’s perspective, we can’t help but be even more concerned about their well-being on a higher level. We parent the best way we know how, and then, it’s off to college, a job, and a life apart from their parents. You have no idea what choices they will make on their own, and they are delirious with their freedom, often not considering the consequences of those choices. Then it happens. Whether they’re in college or married and building their adult life with someone, you discover,

• They’re not going to church and said they don’t think they believe in God anymore.
• You see photos online that don’t show the values you thought you instilled in them.
• You’re not sure if “party” includes alcohol or drugs, but it sure looks like it.
• They don’t call as much as you wish they would.
• When they do call, they’re talking about social and political things you thought you covered in Don’t Fall For This 101.
• They may be wondering why you’re not making their student loan payments, their credit card payments, and their cell phone payments, like you used to.
• They’re in love with someone of a different faith, no faith at all, or looking for love in all the wrong places.
• They graduated from college, but don’t want to get a job. They’re fine living at home and are content with virtual relationships.
• They’re not parenting your grandkids the way you would.
• They’re not coming to you with their problems anymore.

That’s quite a list of sincere concerns. At some point, you probably lie awake at night, and your self-talk is demoralizing you and making everything worse. What is the answer to that self-talk? 

Responding With Grace and Wisdom

What did I do wrong? If there ever was a perfect parent, it was God. He did NOTHING wrong, and Adam and Eve still rebelled. They made their bed and we continue to lie in it. I’m not going to tell you that you did everything right, because you didn’t, but I will tell you that parents are not responsible for every choice their adult children make. If you did make choices that you can see affect your children negatively in their adult lives, talk to them about it. We are all sinful people living in a sinful world. That’s why we pray for our kids from conception to the day we die.

You’re lonely and miss them being around. Of course you do. They were your primary focus, and your lives were entangled for 20+ years. But they are not appendages. They are independent souls that God has given you to raise for His benefit, so you don’t get to keep them for your benefit. We raise them to have their own lives and their own relationship with God. He has a purpose for them independent of you, and it might not include you the way you wish it would. My mom used to say, “Kids join your life for a while, they do not become your life. When they’re ready, they go off to begin lives separate from you, and you continue yours.” The relationship isn’t gone, but it does change.

They don’t call me every day. They don’t need me. Congratulations! They’re living independent lives! If something goes wrong, you’ve either taught them to ask someone for help, or they will call you. They do still need you, just not as much as they did before or in the same way they did before. You’re the only parents they have. To become a friend rather than a parent is a huge demotion. Good or bad, there is no one more influential in someone’s life than their parent(s). They know where you are, and they have your phone number. Allow them the freedom to become the people God wants them to be, even if they have to go through some tough times to get there.

They’re not living the way I think they should. You lived your life the way you thought you should, and they need to live their lives the way they think they should. You took them to church, taught them the faith and values you thought were important, and God wrote His law in their hearts. Do you remember when you were their age? How much did you want your mom and dad to tell you how to live, or what to think, or believe? Adult children need to make their own choices and live with the consequences of them to gain wisdom, experience, and courage.

They’re making bad choices and not asking my advice. Yes, they are making bad choices, and they may be going to somebody else for help or advice. At some point, they need to be able to seek out the help they need, and it won’t be you. One reason is that your unsolicited advice sounds like criticism to them. Another reason is that there will also be some things that God knows they need to go through that you will want to rescue them from, and shouldn’t. They need you to love them through those times and to be there when they come to you.

They’re rejecting the faith. This is the toughest one. Nobody wants to be in heaven without their kids. The sad truth is that no matter how we raise them, we cannot have faith for them. We cannot give it or grow it, and we cannot talk them into it. We can listen, talk about it when they have questions, have faith, pray, and trust that the God who loves them even more than we do has not left them.

 

The Prodigal Son’s Father

We often look at the Prodigal Son (Luke 15) as a story about a child’s rebellion and wasteful lifestyle. We think that our kids can learn a lot from that young man’s experience. But what about the father? What can we, as parents, learn from the father?

There once was a man who had two sons whom he loved with all his heart. He raised them both in a lifestyle and with values that he believed would help them grow into wonderful, caring, God-fearing adults. Then, his youngest son wanted to leave. The father DID NOT beg his son to stay, expect his son to check in to appease his worry or loneliness, text his son every day, keep track of his son on social media to find out what he was doing, contact his son to find out what was going on so he could give him unwanted advice, or rescue his son from the consequences of his choices.

He DID give his son what he asked for – his inheritance and his freedom – and watched him take his belongings and walk away into the big, ugly world where bad things can happen. AND HE WAITED, AND PRAYED. Then, one day, the son returned, and it was obvious that nothing had gone the way he hoped it would. The father DID NOT ask his son what happened, but he DID run to his son with open arms, gave him a huge hug, and threw a party to celebrate his return.

The best parent your children have is God. Leave them in His loving and capable hands, and be there when they need you. Be okay with having a smaller role in their lives and build a new life for yourself that doesn’t orbit theirs. Don’t tie yourself to their happiness or feel bad because their happiness is not tied to you. Trust God with them as they become who HE wants them to be, and remember that the path they lead is not yours, but His.

Teaching the Faith Podcast Interviews

 I was asked if I could be interviewed by Family Shield Ministries to be on their podcast/radio show. Of course, I said, YES!!! Here is a link so that you can listen to the discussion between me and Pr. Mark Femmel. This was fun! 

Teaching the Faith to Preschoolers (Part 1 of 5) 

Teaching the Faith to Elementary Kids (Part 2 of 5) 

Teaching the Faith to Middle Schoolers (Part 3 of 5) 

Teaching the Faith to High Schoolers (Part 4 of 5) 

Teaching the Faith to Adults (Part 5 of 5) 

REFORMATION: Crocktoberfest & Martin Luther Games!

Ephesians 2:8-9
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.

A few years ago I was teaching the high school youth on Reformation Sunday and thought it might be interesting to see what they actually knew about it and about Martin Luther.  I was amazed at what they didn't know or how much they assumed incorrectly.  First, I read a carefully worded description of the state of society and the church and asked them if it sounded like today or in the 16th century.  Then, since Martin is quite funny sometimes and the language of the time can be a little difficult to understand, we had a little fun with some of his quotes.  I had them do a round robin, randomly pick one out of a bucket, and tell me what each one meant and/or what they thought of it.  As time got short they kept saying, "Do one more!"  While knowing the history and talking about things Martin Luther said are not necessary information, it sure doesn't hurt for people to be reminded of it once in a while in a fun way. 

Crocktoberfest

A Crocktoberfest is a potluck where people bring a crock pot meal to share in the tradition of the German festival of Oktoberfest, which would mean people should feel free to celebrate the German heritage gastronomically.  Traditional German food includes das wiener schnitzel (crumbled veal fillet), sauerbraten (beef) and red cabbage, bratwurst (sausages), schweinebraten (pork roast), käse-spätzle (pasta),  goulasch (hot dish), huhnerfrikassee (chicken frickasee), kartoffelknödeln (potato pumplings), apfelpfannkuchen (apple pancakes), apfelstrudel (apple strudel), or any kind of kuchen (cake).  Recipes are all over the internet.

The Martin Luther Games

I have a tendency to try to make things educational/informational and not just fun all the time so I would choose traditional German games for the kids and Reformation informational games for the adults.  I like things to be fun but am not a big fan of a "throw the indulgences in the trash relay" which is nothing different from any other relay the kids participate in at any other event but has a reformation sounding name.

Traditional German games for the kids:

• Topfschlagen (Hit the Pot) - a prize is hidden in a metal pot and a child is blindfolded and given a wooden spoon.  S/he then crawls around the floor trying to hit the pot to win the prize.
• Schokoladenessen (Chocolate Eating) - a chocolate bar, wrapped in many layers of newspaper and tied with a ribbon as if it's a present, is place in the middle of a table with a single die, scarf, hat, mittens, a fork, and a butter knife.  The kids roll the die and when a six is rolled that person puts on the clothes and tries to unwrap and eat the chocolate with the utensils.  While s/he is trying, the die continues to be rolled and if another child rolls a six they get to take over.  The game is over when all the chocolate is gone.
• Katz und Maus (Cat and Mouse) - is usually played outside or in a large room with larger groups.  The kids form a circle holding hands and the cat chases the mouse around, in, and out of the circle as the kids raise and lower their arms to let the mouse in and keep the cat out.
• Pin the 95 Theses - is just like pin the tail on the donkey except that kids are pinning the 95 theses on a door.  Sadly, not a German game but fun for the wee ones.

Reformation/information games for the adults:

• Scrambled Society - you can take the story of society and the church I used with the youth, break it into sections, give each group 2 paddles (paper plate with a stick handle - one says 1500's the other says today), read each section, and have them hold up the paddle of which description fits each time period. The trick is that the description is frighteningly similar to how we could describe society and the church today. Eeerily similar...
• Reformation Jeopardy - use this online Jeopardy template to create your own reformation game. It's not a powerpoint and is really easy to use. Play with it and see how it works. There may be other areas you'll want to use it too. There are tons of places online to get reformation questions or a pastor would be far better at creating them than I would so I won't even try here.
• Here I Stand! - Is he a heretic or not? Most people think Luther's big problem with the church was the sale of indulgences but we should know it was bigger than that. The goal of this activity is to have people learn a bit more about Luther, things he wrote or said against the church, and then decide if he was a heretic. If there are a lot of people, break them into groups. If you started by playing Scrambled Society, you're ready to go, if not, briefly share that information. Have a packet of evidence that includes a brief history of the Catholic church in the 1500's and what they believed at the time. Give people a few minutes to go through it. When they're ready, the "host" (probably the pastor) reads a quote from Luther or something he's written, including the 95 theses and the group must decide if his comment is heretical, Biblical, or neither. (Make sure a few quotes cover each.)
• Movies - there a lot of good movies about Luther out now. Check them out!

YOUTH: Dear New College Student

 Dear College Student, 

When you get to college, you’ll discover that it's nothing like it’s portrayed on TV or in the movies. Remind yourself that those who write TV shows and movies always exaggerate. Always. And they usually portray what they think you want to see, not what is real. College can be a great experience! You can get a good education, make some life-long friends, get some great independent experience, learn the value of money, and have a lot of fun. No matter where you go or what you study, you will also face some challenges and make some bad choices. You may also end up facing or realizing some things about yourself and life that you didn’t expect. 

Challenges? "What do you mean? I'm finally free to make my own choices!" Yes, you are, but yes, challenges. When you’re away from home and most or all of your close friends, who can you reach out to when something has gone wrong? What if you feel alone, lonely, scared, or frustrated because things aren't going the way you thought they would? What if college is harder than you thought it would be? At the top of your list should always be your Heavenly Father, who is always waiting to hear from you.  

College and adult life will probably be more challenging than you thought before you got there. Here are my life tips:

1.          Everyone is amazing, and everyone isn’t. Throughout your senior year, people may have been telling you that you’re super amazing and are going to change the world. When you get to college, you may not feel as amazing as everyone said you would be, and it may give you anxiety. Relax. There’s only one person who truly changed the world, and that was Jesus. You're just a regular human like the rest of us. Even if you're not Him, He is and will always be there for you to turn to when you need Him, which should be every day.

2.          Life is longer than you think. You don’t have to do everything by the time you’re 30, and you have plenty of time to change your mind. Sex is not a recreational activity, and alcohol/drugs shouldn’t be. It only messes you up. You don’t have to have sex with everyone just because you have an urge, and you certainly don’t need to mess with your brain. It’s not even fully developed yet. Protect it. Look for the path that God shows you. Talk to Him. God’s Top Ten (10 Commandments) aren’t just laws; they were given to protect us from making stupid choices. Ask for guidance and step out in faith.  

3.          You may feel that people are judging you and expecting things you’re not sure you can do. Nobody is really judging you, but you. Your professors judge the quality of your work, not you. Other students in your classes are busy focusing on themselves. You’d be surprised how often people aren’t thinking about you. They’ve got their own problems, and if they’re mean, it’s not because of you, it’s because of them. It’s all in your head. Let it go. Ask Jesus to help you stop focusing on yourself so much.

4.          Nobody has a perfect life. Again, and a little slower so you can hear this, nobody has a perfect life. The most dangerous thing you can do is to compare your life, or your life choices, to the lives of others, or listen to them if they talk down to you because you’re not doing what they’re doing. Plenty of foolish people have partied and failed their way out of college, wasting time and a lot of money. God created us with different gifts and skills to be used for His glory. It’s about you living the life God wants you to live, not comparing your life to others. Comparison messes with your head. Don’t go there.

5.          Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is new, today you live. Don’t worry about yesterday, unless you have to fix something you did wrong. Deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Do your best to make wise choices today. Even if things don’t go the way you hope they will, and sometimes they won’t, you will wake up again tomorrow and face the day’s challenges one step at a time. If you take a misstep or something pushes you onto a new path, look for the adventure. Just make the turn and keep going. Life is a journey, and God is with you. Trust Him and enjoy it!

6.          More people than you think love you. God put them in your life for a reason. Your parents think you’re amazing because they’re your parents. They’re not expecting that you will handle every problem on your own perfectly. Somehow, during my last year of college, my bank account was overdrawn due to a late deposit, and fees started piling up, and I freaked out. The banker was not helping, so I called my dad. If you don’t have a dad, call your mom; if you don’t have a mom, call your grandparents, call an Aunt or Uncle. Call me! More people love you and will help you than you think. Let them. If you become overwhelmed, pray and then choose the right person to call. Choose the one who will give you love over the phone and tell you to relax, and give you sound advice. Pray. Believe me, it’s not the end of the world. No matter what you do, the world keeps going. God always loves you, and He gave you people to help you.

7.          Most importantly, only God knows the big picture of your life. In the big picture, you may have multiple jobs or multiple careers. What you study in college is not what you have to do for the next 50 years. Our lives are puzzles, and God is putting it together. Being in college is not a life-or-death situation. Ask Him what the two of you are going to do with each day. He’s got the big stuff… always has… always will. You’ve got the little stuff. Go to class. Do your homework. Make wise choices.

Never, ever forget that you are not alone in this world. One of the reasons God gave us His word is to remind us that He is here… always… to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). He also left His Spirit here to help us (John 14:16). When you need encouragement, use your resources. 

LENT: What are you giving up for Lent?

What are you giving up for Lent? We may hear this question often just before Ash Wednesday. Many church denominations encourage giving something up for Lent. The The Lutheran Church--Missouri Synod puts it this way:  

"Lent is just around the corner. Are you planning on giving up something for Lent, as some denominations require? From the perspective of the LCMS, "giving something up for Lent" is entirely a matter of Christian freedom. It would be wrong, from our perspective, for the church to make some sort of "law" requiring its members to "give something up for Lent," since the Scriptures themselves do not require this. If, on the other hand, a Christian wants to give something up for Lent as a way of remembering and personalizing the great sacrifice that Christ made on the cross for our sins, then that Christian is certainly free to do so--as long as he or she does not "judge" or "look down on" other Christians who do not choose to do this."

I've been reading more and more about people suggesting there's no way that giving up chocolate or beer can ever compare to the sacrifice of Christ and suggesting that the time might be better spent starting a new devotion and prayer habit. Perhaps people can get together and read the same devotional for the 40 days of Lent.  Have them commit to setting aside time everyday for the 40 days to read and get together each week on a video chat or group phone chat to talk and pray.  The group can either keep a list of people or things they want to pray as they read, or they can take the time to write their own prayer to speak to God from their heart everyday. At the end of the 40 days check in with each other and see how this has or hasn't affected your lives or if their outlooks have changed in some way. This may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship with prayer time!

You may also find Lenten devotions online for free or written by somebody in your larger church body, or sometimes there are people out there who are gifted at really making you think more deeply about your faith.  I can recommend Show Me the Way by Henri Nouwen.  Another one that has shorter entries but plenty to contemplate is Followers of the Cross by Martin Marty.  Or maybe you have one to suggest to me?  I would love it if you would share it!

If giving something up truly brings you closer to God then by all means, do that. But if not, try something that will!

CONFIRMATION: Technology in the Classroom

Technology is a tool, not a teacher!

I first posted this information in 2012. Since then technology and its use has skyrocketed. While kids are very used to using technology in the classroom, we can see that according to brain research, our brains still learn the way they did when God created the world. 

  

Educational research continues to indicate that while technological resources have the opportunity to enhance a lesson, there are still some things that provide greater learning, such as discussion, which requires both thought and interaction with the information. Nobody can think about anything for which they have no information and some things need practice. Students become better readers when they read, and math facts have to be memorized and used repeatedly. That being said, there are some great web resources out there that can enhance your confirmation class. 

First, we all know about Bible apps that are nice on your phone, but I still recommend that confirmation students use a real printed Bible and are provided learning activities that make them use it. 

Quizlet

I use Quizlet often to help confirmation students learn terms, and let's be honest, there are a lot of terms in the Small Catechism that kids are not used to. I also use it for a review when we have a snow day or, if for any other reason, we have to cancel class. It's primarily flash cards, but flash cards are useful tools and there are also games that can help with review. If you search for my name you can see what I've got up for my students. Try Quizlet.

Jeopardy Labs

Jeopardy Labs is a game template that allows you to create a customized Jeopardy game without needing to create your own slides. The games you make can be played online from anywhere in the world and if you use their simple editor, are easy to create.  These types of games are great for review or to find out what the students already know about specific topics. Categories might be:  church history, Martin Luther or the reformation, Lutheran doctrine, Bible 101, Hodge Podge (anything), or Small Catechism. Try JeopardyLabs.

Teachers Pay Teachers

There are a number of games on Teachers Pay Teachers, but they are not free. Most of them seem to be for Catholic students. I've not checked them out, but they do use technology. Try Teachers Pay Teachers.

Web Quest

A web quest is an inquiry-based lesson format in which most or all the information that learners work with comes from the web. Put simply, a web quest is a list of hyperlinks students visit to retrieve information. The best way to create a web quest is as an activity that is assigned to be completed at home to prepare them for discussion the following week and should probably take no more than 15-20 minutes. You might find it easier to put a bunch of information on slides for them, but it's certainly not as interesting than having them seek out the information. It would be best used in the areas of historical inquiry, researching and understanding what other religions believe to compare and contrast to Lutheranism, etc. Students may use the web quest to gather information but the goal is to have them use it! The WebQuest website is currently being updated, but the message says it should be up in March 2025. When available try WebQuest.

For more information about teaching confirmation, look at my books: 

The Art of Teaching Confirmation and The Art of Teaching Confirmation Resources. 

RALLY SUNDAY: A New Plan for Memorization

Deuteronomy 11:18-21
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

God's Word is POWERFUL. 

Rally Sunday is the perfect time to start a memory program for the whole congregation and change the culture of your Bible studies.

Bible Sound Bites - It's the Real Thing

Most kids go through confirmation memorizing Bible verses and then promptly forgetting them because they only learn them long enough to recite them.  I often encourage teachers of confirmation to make memorization a family event or task to give it more meaning.  I've even thought about having the whole congregation learn along with the confirmands or putting Bible memorization back into our culture by having a theme verse for the year or a church season.

The Bible Out of Context - No More Topics!!

Cultural Christians have gotten very good at taking verses out of context to suit our topical needs.  We want to know what God says about drug use or pre-marital sex or parenting or we don't want people to feel sad so we take verses out of context to use as we see fit.  There is a local pastor here who uses Jeremiah 29:11 to tell people that God wants them to be rich.  Convenient and something every cultural Christian wants to hear but absolutely and completely out of context.  In an attempt to appeal to people we've begun to study topics instead of books but the one and only Almighty God is NOT our psychologist.  He offers us ETERNAL LIFE, not an hour of psychoanalysis.

If people study the Old Testament and they see and understand the true nature of God, they will not need psychoanalysis.  If they read the life of Jesus as told by four different men in the New Testament, they will hear His words and their hearts will be changed.  If you want to know what the Bible says about parenting then look at how God treats His children... with love and discipline.  It's an overall picture.  You don't need somebody to find verses to fit into the 5 easy steps to Biblical parenting. 

You want a good topic about you, your life, and how you should live to be happy?  Try the book of James... the whole book! 

FAMILY: Parents - Faith Builders for Life!

Parents are the greatest influence in a child's life... their WHOLE life.  It may seem easier during their younger years, and most parents may think that during the adolescent years kids may be throwing away what their parents taught them, but research shows that that's not necessarily true. If you've talked to your kids and prayed with them while they were growing, they won't forget what they heard as quickly as you might think. Teens are on a road to independence. They try new things and may explore other beliefs, but they are actually looking for confirmation outside the family of what they've been taught. If parents leave everything to the church, kids learn that their faith belongs in the church. If parents actively live and speak of their faith, kids learn that their faith is a part of their lives inside and outside of the church.  How, then, do we equip parents to teach the faith to their kids? 

The key is intentionality.  If it's not something that comes naturally in the family, parents need to make the effort to intentionally talk about their faith.  If your children ask what you believe, can you tell them? Perhaps it's time to get back into Bible study. 

• Family devotions after dinner.  It's ALWAYS a good idea to read scripture or Bible stories! You can read a devotional book appropriate for the age of your children or just read the Bible and pause every so often to paraphrase what you're reading so they understand it. There are some exciting things in there! 
• Eating dinner together and discussing life.  Turning off the TV, putting phones in a drawer, and talking about your day can be very enlightening.  Kids say things to each other that give you insight into their lives and an opportunity for you to model and discuss appropriate behaviors, attitudes, and how Christ is a part of your family's journey together, even at school.
• Praying before meals. Simple thanks for the day, for food, and for everything God provides... EVERYTHING is important for everyone! It changes what we think and feel about the stuff in our lives. Also, adding on prayers about life challenges or troubled loved ones to the end of our standard, "Come, Lord Jesus..." prayer is easy and only takes a few more minutes. 
• Participating in your child's Sunday School and confirmation education. Ask your younger kids what they learn in Sunday School. Talk about it on the way home and even later in the week. Some confirmation programs include parents as small group leaders or volunteers in another way. Do you know what your child is studying? Does your child come home with family discussion questions? One of the best benefits of parent involvement is that parents have the opportunity to rediscover things they probably haven't thought about in a long time. Younger children also get a head start in understanding the information in Luther's Small Catechism. 
• Moments for meaningful discussion.  Take advantage of opportunities for meaningful discussion of the sermon. Churches can provide a few simple discussion questions in the Sunday bulletins or have them printed, texted or emailed to homes after Sunday School. They may provide interesting dinner conversation starters or would be great while you have kids trapped in your car while driving places.
• Bedtime prayers.  Teach and model for your children how to pray/talk to God by making their bedtime prayers personal to them. You can also say a simple blessing over your child out loud before they fall asleep. A child who hears every night that they are a gift from God, that they they have been given a strong faith, that they love the Lord and He loves them, that God has given them wisdom and good judgment to face daily challenges, that they are a blessing to their family and friends, and that they are reminded that the Spirit of God lives in them, that they wear the Armor of God to stand against anything evil that comes their way, and that the Lord goes with them and loves them, will sleep well and it will change how they face each day.  
• Actions speak louder than words.  They really do.  Tell your kids what you believe, but show them even louder. 
• Encourage questions.  If your kids ask questions you can't answer, tell them you'll find out and call the pastor. When you bring it up again later they'll see that it was important enough for you not to forget. 

Parents can encourage or discourage faith. If your kids don't hear it or see it in your life, it will most likely disappear from theirs. If your kids see that going to church and being in God's Word is important to you, it will become important to them. Don't give the world a chance to take away what you want for your kids. 

LEADERSHIP: TeleCare -- Care for the Elderly Living Alone

 I was at the Senior Center this morning and heard an amazing story. 

Yesterday was a very windy day. D's husband died some years ago so she lives alone in the home they lived in for about 60 years. She is still able to take care of her house and yard, though it takes more time to get it all done than it used to. 

She went out to mow her lawn, got the mower out of the shed, and started mowing. At about 3 pm she ran out of gas. She left her mower and went to the shed to get the gas tank. While she was there, a gust of wind slammed the shed door shut and locked it. D turned on the light and looked around the small shed with no windows and a cement floor. She banged on the door whenever she thought someone might be close enough to hear it, but nobody came. 

The great blessing for D was that she had hope. Why? Because in our community the public school has a TeleCare program. Every morning at about 8 am, elementary students call elderly people living alone to simply ask how they are doing and if they need anything. It is not a long conversation, but it is an important one.

Thanking God that it was not very cold at night lately, D knew about how long she would be there. She swept the floor and did the few odd jobs in the shed she had been putting off. Then she gathered what she could so that she didn’t have to sit on the cold cement floor all night. She found a car creeper, a plastic bag, and an old towel. It would be a long night, but she would be off the cold floor. All she could do now was to wait and pray. It was a great opportunity to have a long chat with the Lord. 

D knew that at 8 am the next morning she would not answer the phone and somebody would come. Sure enough, after a long night of looking at the crack under the door for some light, the young student called and when D didn’t answer they called her sister to let her know. The sister called D’s grandson and he went over, saw the lawnmower sitting where it shouldn't be and, after a few bangs on the door, found her in the shed. Yes, she was cold, but she was also thanking God for TeleCare and the annoyance that came with being home every morning at 8 am to take that call. She would never complain about it again. 

My very small community has a very small school system, but when you're small you can do things that may challenge larger schools. For years the elementary kids in the school have participated in the TeleCare program. It's simply part of the curriculum. What a blessing for the elderly folks in this area who live alone, but in their own homes. TELECARE -- think about it for your church or school. It doesn't take much time to make sure your elderly neighbors are okay. 

CONFIRMATION: The Memory Work Conundrum

 As the illustration shows, memorizing is simply practicing knowing something. Remembering something for a long period of time, takes time. There's no way around it. True memorization takes repetition over time.

I often hear pastors or other confirmation educators complain about students and memory work. The common complaints are:

• Kids aren't doing it. 
• Parents aren't making kids do it. 
• I (the teacher) am the only one who cares.
• I don't have any leverage, so why expect it? 

I was a professional educator of middle and high school students for many years and wrote two books on confirmation called The Art of Teaching Confirmation, and its companion called The Art of Teaching Confirmation Resources to help confirmation educators understand why how they teach makes a difference. There is important information in those books regarding why we don't want kids to stop memorizing, how we can get parents on board, and what confirmation educators need to change to make it happen, as well as resources to help with that. There are two areas that I want to encourage: 

• Expectations
• Accountability

EXPECTATIONS

Make sure they know you expect it. Let's be honest, if kids think they can get away with not doing it, they're not going to do it. If parents don't think it's important (because they don't remember anything they memorized), they won't make their kids do it either... unless you expect it.

• Kick-off Meetings - At the beginning of every year, I have a kick-off meeting to make sure everyone is on the same page with what's required. Never assume they know what you expect. Not only do I provide a calendar or a simple syllabus, but I talk about behavior and academic expectations. 

First, I ask parents to think about why they want their kids to be confirmed. They should know the reason and it helps the teacher know where they're coming from. Then, I hand out FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) and we talk about them. They include some history and tradition of confirmation, its purpose, how parents can support their kids through confirmation, how parents can also support the pastor, what is taught, why memorization and sermon notes (connections) are important, and why confirmation has a place in our culture today. 

 

Then, I talk about expectations. I go over what I expect of their behavior and let them know that I will contact them if their child behaves in a way that consistently disrupts class. Next, I share the requirements for participating in the privilege of confirming their faith. Finally, I ask a very important question: "Why do they think I am here?" This one is unexpected. I explain that I'm not here because it's my job. I think confirmation is important to their kid's faith and why it's important to start talking about it at this age. "If you're not going to expect your child to do the work or don't think the work is important, what do you want them to get out of it? If they haven't learned anything, what is it that they are confirming that they believe and why do they believe it? What is the benefit for them and what does it teach them about their faith or the church? Confirmation is not a requirement for salvation, but teaching about God and His plan for their salvation is. The FAQs are also discussed in The Art of Teaching Confirmation Resources, and there's a post about them on this website here. 

 

ACCOUNTABILITY 

• Checklists - I know people don't think they should officially keep track of grades for confirmation, but we don't keep track to grade the kids. We keep track of their progress for informational purposes. I use a simple minus, check mark, and plus. (Minus: not much effort, Check mark: acceptable effort, Plus: good or great effort)
  I promise it will help you if parents know you're keeping track of attendance and work. If you don't keep track, when you say a student isn't doing their work, you have no data to fall back on. Also, all it takes is a check mark every week and you have everything you need to let students and parents know that you care about them learning, enough to pay attention to how many classes they've missed and what work they need to make up. On the confirmation page of this website there are checklists. Use one or create your own. Resources for this are also in my book, The Art of Teaching Confirmation Resources. 

• Progress Reports - A progress report is never a bad idea. It periodically lets parents know how things are going. Since class usually only meets weekly, I only give one once a year, unless it's obvious that students aren't doing their work. They can either be printed or via a phone call. If a student is missing work two weeks in a row, a parent should be notified. It's always better to take care of these things right away. It doesn't help to wait until they're months behind to speak up about it. 

Unfortunately, a lot of parents don't think confirmation work or memory work is important because most kids/people only remember it until they say it and after that it's gone, because of how we do it. Basically, if you make somebody memorize something and then they never say it again, they will forget it almost immediately. Where the brain and memory is concerned, use it or lose it is absolutely true. 

Why don't kids see the value in it? Because they're 13-14 years old. No matter how many cheers or pep talks they hear, they're not going to care. They're kids. They need some real consequences for not doing the work. That's why we need the parents to understand why it's important. 

LEVERAGE

Without grades, there are very few options for leverage. It's a volunteer class and we worry that if we push, parents will take their kids out. Nobody wants that. What are the options? Confirm kids who have done nothing all year and know nothing about their faith? What is the point in that? 

The reality is, there is leverage, but we have to be careful how we use it. No pastor wants to tell a parent that their child hasn't done any work and won't be confirmed, but again, that's your strongest leverage. It's the last chance, but it's there. There are other things to do first. 

1. Have a chat with the student and ask them why they seem to not be interested in doing the work or knowing this information. Why not? 
2. Have a chat with the parents and let them know of the problem. They may share with you some challenges their child has with the work. Adjust it. 
3. Let them know that confirmation can be done later, if the student is not ready.
4. Remind them that confirmation is not required for salvation. 

The bottom line is that we should never confirm a child who has learned or thought about nothing with regard to their faith, but you don't know what they believe until you have a chat with them and ask. 

OPTIONS

We don't have to do it the way it's always been done where kids go home, say it to their parents before class the next week, somebody initials or signs the form, and it's considered memorized. Saying it once and getting a form signed doesn't mean they've memorized anything. Read more about the brain and memory in The Art of Teaching Confirmation. Here are a few options:

1. Give them a list of what they need to memorize throughout the year and let them do it at their own pace. You still need to keep track of what they have known and it's good to have random memory checks in class. Let them say anything they know, but they can't say the same one every time. 
2. Put the memory work on the pre-service worship slides every week and right before the service starts, have everyone say it together. 
3. This one is my personal opinion, however, I prefer to have students memorize God's word over the What does this mean? information in the catechism. Once they say that in class, nobody every repeats it. When you're 14, it's not long before those synapses are overwritten. 
4. Put time aside for a quick memory review each week where you ask a question and they need to answer it with one of the memory verses. For example, ask a question about baptism and they can respond with Acts 2:38, Mark 16:16, Romans 6:3-4, etc. That also helps them apply it. 

For the record, most of the adults in the pews on Sunday don't remember their memory work. Give them a review too! Change the verse every month.

WOMEN: Prayer Shower

When a couple in a congregation is having a baby, we want to fill them with encouragement and, perhaps, even some material items we know they'll need. It's a celebration of a new life. We should also do this for single mothers. Yes, they may have made an error in judgment, but we don't hold mistakes or sins against anyone else, why would we do it for them. We want to fill them with encouragement as well, and celebrate the new life they're bringing into the world, who is also a child of God. After all, being a single parent is a lot more challenging than having a partner to share the burden of raising a child. Yes, babies are a gift, a blessing, and a joy, but they're also a lot of work. These days they're also very expensive if you listen to everyone telling you about all the things you need. 

Some congregations give baby showers to their new mothers, but that tradition can be a challenge to keep up. If the congregation goes through a season of many new babies, having all those showers can be a lot to expect of the members, and it's usually the women who attend them. It can also be a financial burden if people are expected to buy gifts, often for people they do not know. 

What we can do as a church is have a  PRAYER SHOWER. What's a Prayer Shower? It's an opportunity to give a new mom prayerful encouragement that will last much longer than an evening and bless a child through the mother. 

We want to shower New Mom with prayers and faithful encouragement that lasts longer than a day or an event. What does this look like? All of the gifts are sealed envelopes that have on the front something like,

(Below are just examples - feel free to come up with your own.) Read this when… 

• You need a break.
• The baby won't stop crying.
• You feel helpless.
• You don’t know what to pray.
• You haven't eaten (or showered).
• You're trying something new (taking the baby on errands or going to church).
• You're amazed at the gifts of God.
• You're worried about what people will think or say.
• The baby is teething.
• You’re feeling truly thankful for how God is taking care of you and your baby.
• You would give anything for a hot meal.
• Work demands more than you've got.
• You feel all alone.
• You really don’t want to get up.
• You're somebody says something mean about your parenting skills. 
• You think you can’t do it.
• You feel isolated and lonely.
• Parenthood is harder than you thought it would be.
• You’re sick, but the baby is not.
• The baby is sick.
• You have to go back to work. 
• You are lonely.
• You look at your sleeping gift from God and your heart is full. 

THERE ARE A MILLION OPTIONS! 

In your card you can include Bible verses, prayers, an encouraging poem, a personal note, or a story to help Mom get through the moment or the day. Never discount your own experience as not being encouraging. Sometimes all we need is to know that what we're going through is common! We are not alone.  

THIS IS NOT A REGULAR BABY SHOWER WHERE EVERYONE IS EXPECTED TO BRING MATERIAL SHOWER GIFTS. If you want to give a material gift, please do that at another time. This event is a PRAYER SHOWER.

Example: 

A Prayer Shower can be done as a gathering, with yummy treats, or without. I never say no to yummy treats, but since the goal is focused on giving the mom-to-be spiritual encouragement and support, a prayer shower can be done by having people send their support cards or letters directly to the new mom, or they can be put in her church mailbox. 

My gift to new moms at our church is the following blessing, framed to hang on a wall near the baby's bed, and intended to be said to that child every morning and/or every night.