YOUTH: Dear New College Student

 Dear College Student, 

When you get to college, you’ll discover that it's nothing like it’s portrayed on TV or in the movies. Remind yourself that those who write TV shows and movies always exaggerate. Always. And they usually portray what they think you want to see, not what is real. College can be a great experience! You can get a good education, make some life-long friends, get some great independent experience, learn the value of money, and have a lot of fun. No matter where you go or what you study, you will also face some challenges and make some bad choices. You may also end up facing or realizing some things about yourself and life that you didn’t expect. 

Challenges? "What do you mean? I'm finally free to make my own choices!" Yes, you are, but yes, challenges. When you’re away from home and most or all of your close friends, who can you reach out to when something has gone wrong? What if you feel alone, lonely, scared, or frustrated because things aren't going the way you thought they would? What if college is harder than you thought it would be? At the top of your list should always be your Heavenly Father, who is always waiting to hear from you.  

College and adult life will probably be more challenging than you thought before you got there. Here are my life tips:

1.          Everyone is amazing, and everyone isn’t. Throughout your senior year, people may have been telling you that you’re super amazing and are going to change the world. When you get to college, you may not feel as amazing as everyone said you would be, and it may give you anxiety. Relax. There’s only one person who truly changed the world, and that was Jesus. You're just a regular human like the rest of us. Even if you're not Him, He is and will always be there for you to turn to when you need Him, which should be every day.

2.          Life is longer than you think. You don’t have to do everything by the time you’re 30, and you have plenty of time to change your mind. Sex is not a recreational activity, and alcohol/drugs shouldn’t be. It only messes you up. You don’t have to have sex with everyone just because you have an urge, and you certainly don’t need to mess with your brain. It’s not even fully developed yet. Protect it. Look for the path that God shows you. Talk to Him. God’s Top Ten (10 Commandments) aren’t just laws; they were given to protect us from making stupid choices. Ask for guidance and step out in faith.  

3.          You may feel that people are judging you and expecting things you’re not sure you can do. Nobody is really judging you, but you. Your professors judge the quality of your work, not you. Other students in your classes are busy focusing on themselves. You’d be surprised how often people aren’t thinking about you. They’ve got their own problems, and if they’re mean, it’s not because of you, it’s because of them. It’s all in your head. Let it go. Ask Jesus to help you stop focusing on yourself so much.

4.          Nobody has a perfect life. Again, and a little slower so you can hear this, nobody has a perfect life. The most dangerous thing you can do is to compare your life, or your life choices, to the lives of others, or listen to them if they talk down to you because you’re not doing what they’re doing. Plenty of foolish people have partied and failed their way out of college, wasting time and a lot of money. God created us with different gifts and skills to be used for His glory. It’s about you living the life God wants you to live, not comparing your life to others. Comparison messes with your head. Don’t go there.

5.          Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is new, today you live. Don’t worry about yesterday, unless you have to fix something you did wrong. Deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Do your best to make wise choices today. Even if things don’t go the way you hope they will, and sometimes they won’t, you will wake up again tomorrow and face the day’s challenges one step at a time. If you take a misstep or something pushes you onto a new path, look for the adventure. Just make the turn and keep going. Life is a journey, and God is with you. Trust Him and enjoy it!

6.          More people than you think love you. God put them in your life for a reason. Your parents think you’re amazing because they’re your parents. They’re not expecting that you will handle every problem on your own perfectly. Somehow, during my last year of college, my bank account was overdrawn due to a late deposit, and fees started piling up, and I freaked out. The banker was not helping, so I called my dad. If you don’t have a dad, call your mom; if you don’t have a mom, call your grandparents, call an Aunt or Uncle. Call me! More people love you and will help you than you think. Let them. If you become overwhelmed, pray and then choose the right person to call. Choose the one who will give you love over the phone and tell you to relax, and give you sound advice. Pray. Believe me, it’s not the end of the world. No matter what you do, the world keeps going. God always loves you, and He gave you people to help you.

7.          Most importantly, only God knows the big picture of your life. In the big picture, you may have multiple jobs or multiple careers. What you study in college is not what you have to do for the next 50 years. Our lives are puzzles, and God is putting it together. Being in college is not a life-or-death situation. Ask Him what the two of you are going to do with each day. He’s got the big stuff… always has… always will. You’ve got the little stuff. Go to class. Do your homework. Make wise choices.

Never, ever forget that you are not alone in this world. One of the reasons God gave us His word is to remind us that He is here… always… to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). He also left His Spirit here to help us (John 14:16). When you need encouragement, use your resources. 

LENT: What are you giving up for Lent?

What are you giving up for Lent? We may hear this question often just before Ash Wednesday. Many church denominations encourage giving something up for Lent. The The Lutheran Church--Missouri Synod puts it this way:  

"Lent is just around the corner. Are you planning on giving up something for Lent, as some denominations require? From the perspective of the LCMS, "giving something up for Lent" is entirely a matter of Christian freedom. It would be wrong, from our perspective, for the church to make some sort of "law" requiring its members to "give something up for Lent," since the Scriptures themselves do not require this. If, on the other hand, a Christian wants to give something up for Lent as a way of remembering and personalizing the great sacrifice that Christ made on the cross for our sins, then that Christian is certainly free to do so--as long as he or she does not "judge" or "look down on" other Christians who do not choose to do this."

I've been reading more and more about people suggesting there's no way that giving up chocolate or beer can ever compare to the sacrifice of Christ and suggesting that the time might be better spent starting a new devotion and prayer habit. Perhaps people can get together and read the same devotional for the 40 days of Lent.  Have them commit to setting aside time everyday for the 40 days to read and get together each week on a video chat or group phone chat to talk and pray.  The group can either keep a list of people or things they want to pray as they read, or they can take the time to write their own prayer to speak to God from their heart everyday. At the end of the 40 days check in with each other and see how this has or hasn't affected your lives or if their outlooks have changed in some way. This may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship with prayer time!

You may also find Lenten devotions online for free or written by somebody in your larger church body, or sometimes there are people out there who are gifted at really making you think more deeply about your faith.  I can recommend Show Me the Way by Henri Nouwen.  Another one that has shorter entries but plenty to contemplate is Followers of the Cross by Martin Marty.  Or maybe you have one to suggest to me?  I would love it if you would share it!

If giving something up truly brings you closer to God then by all means, do that. But if not, try something that will!

CONFIRMATION: Technology in the Classroom

Technology is a tool, not a teacher!

I first posted this information in 2012. Since then technology and its use has skyrocketed. While kids are very used to using technology in the classroom, we can see that according to brain research, our brains still learn the way they did when God created the world. 

  

Educational research continues to indicate that while technological resources have the opportunity to enhance a lesson, there are still some things that provide greater learning, such as discussion, which requires both thought and interaction with the information. Nobody can think about anything for which they have no information and some things need practice. Students become better readers when they read, and math facts have to be memorized and used repeatedly. That being said, there are some great web resources out there that can enhance your confirmation class. 

First, we all know about Bible apps that are nice on your phone, but I still recommend that confirmation students use a real printed Bible and are provided learning activities that make them use it. 

Quizlet

I use Quizlet often to help confirmation students learn terms, and let's be honest, there are a lot of terms in the Small Catechism that kids are not used to. I also use it for a review when we have a snow day or, if for any other reason, we have to cancel class. It's primarily flash cards, but flash cards are useful tools and there are also games that can help with review. If you search for my name you can see what I've got up for my students. Try Quizlet.

Jeopardy Labs

Jeopardy Labs is a game template that allows you to create a customized Jeopardy game without needing to create your own slides. The games you make can be played online from anywhere in the world and if you use their simple editor, are easy to create.  These types of games are great for review or to find out what the students already know about specific topics. Categories might be:  church history, Martin Luther or the reformation, Lutheran doctrine, Bible 101, Hodge Podge (anything), or Small Catechism. Try JeopardyLabs.

Teachers Pay Teachers

There are a number of games on Teachers Pay Teachers, but they are not free. Most of them seem to be for Catholic students. I've not checked them out, but they do use technology. Try Teachers Pay Teachers.

Web Quest

A web quest is an inquiry-based lesson format in which most or all the information that learners work with comes from the web. Put simply, a web quest is a list of hyperlinks students visit to retrieve information. The best way to create a web quest is as an activity that is assigned to be completed at home to prepare them for discussion the following week and should probably take no more than 15-20 minutes. You might find it easier to put a bunch of information on slides for them, but it's certainly not as interesting than having them seek out the information. It would be best used in the areas of historical inquiry, researching and understanding what other religions believe to compare and contrast to Lutheranism, etc. Students may use the web quest to gather information but the goal is to have them use it! The WebQuest website is currently being updated, but the message says it should be up in March 2025. When available try WebQuest.

For more information about teaching confirmation, look at my books: 

The Art of Teaching Confirmation and The Art of Teaching Confirmation Resources. 

RALLY SUNDAY: A New Plan for Memorization

Deuteronomy 11:18-21
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

God's Word is POWERFUL. 

Rally Sunday is the perfect time to start a memory program for the whole congregation and change the culture of your Bible studies.

Bible Sound Bites - It's the Real Thing

Most kids go through confirmation memorizing Bible verses and then promptly forgetting them because they only learn them long enough to recite them.  I often encourage teachers of confirmation to make memorization a family event or task to give it more meaning.  I've even thought about having the whole congregation learn along with the confirmands or putting Bible memorization back into our culture by having a theme verse for the year or a church season.

The Bible Out of Context - No More Topics!!

Cultural Christians have gotten very good at taking verses out of context to suit our topical needs.  We want to know what God says about drug use or pre-marital sex or parenting or we don't want people to feel sad so we take verses out of context to use as we see fit.  There is a local pastor here who uses Jeremiah 29:11 to tell people that God wants them to be rich.  Convenient and something every cultural Christian wants to hear but absolutely and completely out of context.  In an attempt to appeal to people we've begun to study topics instead of books but the one and only Almighty God is NOT our psychologist.  He offers us ETERNAL LIFE, not an hour of psychoanalysis.

If people study the Old Testament and they see and understand the true nature of God, they will not need psychoanalysis.  If they read the life of Jesus as told by four different men in the New Testament, they will hear His words and their hearts will be changed.  If you want to know what the Bible says about parenting then look at how God treats His children... with love and discipline.  It's an overall picture.  You don't need somebody to find verses to fit into the 5 easy steps to Biblical parenting. 

You want a good topic about you, your life, and how you should live to be happy?  Try the book of James... the whole book! 

FAMILY: Parents - Faith Builders for Life!

Parents are the greatest influence in a child's life... their WHOLE life.  It may seem easier during their younger years, and most parents may think that during the adolescent years kids may be throwing away what their parents taught them, but research shows that that's not necessarily true. If you've talked to your kids and prayed with them while they were growing, they won't forget what they heard as quickly as you might think. Teens are on a road to independence. They try new things and may explore other beliefs, but they are actually looking for confirmation outside the family of what they've been taught. If parents leave everything to the church, kids learn that their faith belongs in the church. If parents actively live and speak of their faith, kids learn that their faith is a part of their lives inside and outside of the church.  How, then, do we equip parents to teach the faith to their kids? 

The key is intentionality.  If it's not something that comes naturally in the family, parents need to make the effort to intentionally talk about their faith.  If your children ask what you believe, can you tell them? Perhaps it's time to get back into Bible study. 

• Family devotions after dinner.  It's ALWAYS a good idea to read scripture or Bible stories! You can read a devotional book appropriate for the age of your children or just read the Bible and pause every so often to paraphrase what you're reading so they understand it. There are some exciting things in there! 
• Eating dinner together and discussing life.  Turning off the TV, putting phones in a drawer, and talking about your day can be very enlightening.  Kids say things to each other that give you insight into their lives and an opportunity for you to model and discuss appropriate behaviors, attitudes, and how Christ is a part of your family's journey together, even at school.
• Praying before meals. Simple thanks for the day, for food, and for everything God provides... EVERYTHING is important for everyone! It changes what we think and feel about the stuff in our lives. Also, adding on prayers about life challenges or troubled loved ones to the end of our standard, "Come, Lord Jesus..." prayer is easy and only takes a few more minutes. 
• Participating in your child's Sunday School and confirmation education. Ask your younger kids what they learn in Sunday School. Talk about it on the way home and even later in the week. Some confirmation programs include parents as small group leaders or volunteers in another way. Do you know what your child is studying? Does your child come home with family discussion questions? One of the best benefits of parent involvement is that parents have the opportunity to rediscover things they probably haven't thought about in a long time. Younger children also get a head start in understanding the information in Luther's Small Catechism. 
• Moments for meaningful discussion.  Take advantage of opportunities for meaningful discussion of the sermon. Churches can provide a few simple discussion questions in the Sunday bulletins or have them printed, texted or emailed to homes after Sunday School. They may provide interesting dinner conversation starters or would be great while you have kids trapped in your car while driving places.
• Bedtime prayers.  Teach and model for your children how to pray/talk to God by making their bedtime prayers personal to them. You can also say a simple blessing over your child out loud before they fall asleep. A child who hears every night that they are a gift from God, that they they have been given a strong faith, that they love the Lord and He loves them, that God has given them wisdom and good judgment to face daily challenges, that they are a blessing to their family and friends, and that they are reminded that the Spirit of God lives in them, that they wear the Armor of God to stand against anything evil that comes their way, and that the Lord goes with them and loves them, will sleep well and it will change how they face each day.  
• Actions speak louder than words.  They really do.  Tell your kids what you believe, but show them even louder. 
• Encourage questions.  If your kids ask questions you can't answer, tell them you'll find out and call the pastor. When you bring it up again later they'll see that it was important enough for you not to forget. 

Parents can encourage or discourage faith. If your kids don't hear it or see it in your life, it will most likely disappear from theirs. If your kids see that going to church and being in God's Word is important to you, it will become important to them. Don't give the world a chance to take away what you want for your kids. 

LEADERSHIP: TeleCare -- Care for the Elderly Living Alone

 I was at the Senior Center this morning and heard an amazing story. 

Yesterday was a very windy day. D's husband died some years ago so she lives alone in the home they lived in for about 60 years. She is still able to take care of her house and yard, though it takes more time to get it all done than it used to. 

She went out to mow her lawn, got the mower out of the shed, and started mowing. At about 3 pm she ran out of gas. She left her mower and went to the shed to get the gas tank. While she was there, a gust of wind slammed the shed door shut and locked it. D turned on the light and looked around the small shed with no windows and a cement floor. She banged on the door whenever she thought someone might be close enough to hear it, but nobody came. 

The great blessing for D was that she had hope. Why? Because in our community the public school has a TeleCare program. Every morning at about 8 am, elementary students call elderly people living alone to simply ask how they are doing and if they need anything. It is not a long conversation, but it is an important one.

Thanking God that it was not very cold at night lately, D knew about how long she would be there. She swept the floor and did the few odd jobs in the shed she had been putting off. Then she gathered what she could so that she didn’t have to sit on the cold cement floor all night. She found a car creeper, a plastic bag, and an old towel. It would be a long night, but she would be off the cold floor. All she could do now was to wait and pray. It was a great opportunity to have a long chat with the Lord. 

D knew that at 8 am the next morning she would not answer the phone and somebody would come. Sure enough, after a long night of looking at the crack under the door for some light, the young student called and when D didn’t answer they called her sister to let her know. The sister called D’s grandson and he went over, saw the lawnmower sitting where it shouldn't be and, after a few bangs on the door, found her in the shed. Yes, she was cold, but she was also thanking God for TeleCare and the annoyance that came with being home every morning at 8 am to take that call. She would never complain about it again. 

My very small community has a very small school system, but when you're small you can do things that may challenge larger schools. For years the elementary kids in the school have participated in the TeleCare program. It's simply part of the curriculum. What a blessing for the elderly folks in this area who live alone, but in their own homes. TELECARE -- think about it for your church or school. It doesn't take much time to make sure your elderly neighbors are okay. 

CONFIRMATION: The Memory Work Conundrum

 As the illustration shows, memorizing is simply practicing knowing something. Remembering something for a long period of time, takes time. There's no way around it. True memorization takes repetition over time.

I often hear pastors or other confirmation educators complain about students and memory work. The common complaints are:

• Kids aren't doing it. 
• Parents aren't making kids do it. 
• I (the teacher) am the only one who cares.
• I don't have any leverage, so why expect it? 

I was a professional educator of middle and high school students for many years and wrote two books on confirmation called The Art of Teaching Confirmation, and its companion called The Art of Teaching Confirmation Resources to help confirmation educators understand why how they teach makes a difference. There is important information in those books regarding why we don't want kids to stop memorizing, how we can get parents on board, and what confirmation educators need to change to make it happen, as well as resources to help with that. There are two areas that I want to encourage: 

• Expectations
• Accountability

EXPECTATIONS

Make sure they know you expect it. Let's be honest, if kids think they can get away with not doing it, they're not going to do it. If parents don't think it's important (because they don't remember anything they memorized), they won't make their kids do it either... unless you expect it.

• Kick-off Meetings - At the beginning of every year, I have a kick-off meeting to make sure everyone is on the same page with what's required. Never assume they know what you expect. Not only do I provide a calendar or a simple syllabus, but I talk about behavior and academic expectations. 

First, I ask parents to think about why they want their kids to be confirmed. They should know the reason and it helps the teacher know where they're coming from. Then, I hand out FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) and we talk about them. They include some history and tradition of confirmation, its purpose, how parents can support their kids through confirmation, how parents can also support the pastor, what is taught, why memorization and sermon notes (connections) are important, and why confirmation has a place in our culture today. 

 

Then, I talk about expectations. I go over what I expect of their behavior and let them know that I will contact them if their child behaves in a way that consistently disrupts class. Next, I share the requirements for participating in the privilege of confirming their faith. Finally, I ask a very important question: "Why do they think I am here?" This one is unexpected. I explain that I'm not here because it's my job. I think confirmation is important to their kid's faith and why it's important to start talking about it at this age. "If you're not going to expect your child to do the work or don't think the work is important, what do you want them to get out of it? If they haven't learned anything, what is it that they are confirming that they believe and why do they believe it? What is the benefit for them and what does it teach them about their faith or the church? Confirmation is not a requirement for salvation, but teaching about God and His plan for their salvation is. The FAQs are also discussed in The Art of Teaching Confirmation Resources, and there's a post about them on this website here. 

 

ACCOUNTABILITY 

• Checklists - I know people don't think they should officially keep track of grades for confirmation, but we don't keep track to grade the kids. We keep track of their progress for informational purposes. I use a simple minus, check mark, and plus. (Minus: not much effort, Check mark: acceptable effort, Plus: good or great effort)
  I promise it will help you if parents know you're keeping track of attendance and work. If you don't keep track, when you say a student isn't doing their work, you have no data to fall back on. Also, all it takes is a check mark every week and you have everything you need to let students and parents know that you care about them learning, enough to pay attention to how many classes they've missed and what work they need to make up. On the confirmation page of this website there are checklists. Use one or create your own. Resources for this are also in my book, The Art of Teaching Confirmation Resources. 

• Progress Reports - A progress report is never a bad idea. It periodically lets parents know how things are going. Since class usually only meets weekly, I only give one once a year, unless it's obvious that students aren't doing their work. They can either be printed or via a phone call. If a student is missing work two weeks in a row, a parent should be notified. It's always better to take care of these things right away. It doesn't help to wait until they're months behind to speak up about it. 

Unfortunately, a lot of parents don't think confirmation work or memory work is important because most kids/people only remember it until they say it and after that it's gone, because of how we do it. Basically, if you make somebody memorize something and then they never say it again, they will forget it almost immediately. Where the brain and memory is concerned, use it or lose it is absolutely true. 

Why don't kids see the value in it? Because they're 13-14 years old. No matter how many cheers or pep talks they hear, they're not going to care. They're kids. They need some real consequences for not doing the work. That's why we need the parents to understand why it's important. 

LEVERAGE

Without grades, there are very few options for leverage. It's a volunteer class and we worry that if we push, parents will take their kids out. Nobody wants that. What are the options? Confirm kids who have done nothing all year and know nothing about their faith? What is the point in that? 

The reality is, there is leverage, but we have to be careful how we use it. No pastor wants to tell a parent that their child hasn't done any work and won't be confirmed, but again, that's your strongest leverage. It's the last chance, but it's there. There are other things to do first. 

1. Have a chat with the student and ask them why they seem to not be interested in doing the work or knowing this information. Why not? 
2. Have a chat with the parents and let them know of the problem. They may share with you some challenges their child has with the work. Adjust it. 
3. Let them know that confirmation can be done later, if the student is not ready.
4. Remind them that confirmation is not required for salvation. 

The bottom line is that we should never confirm a child who has learned or thought about nothing with regard to their faith, but you don't know what they believe until you have a chat with them and ask. 

OPTIONS

We don't have to do it the way it's always been done where kids go home, say it to their parents before class the next week, somebody initials or signs the form, and it's considered memorized. Saying it once and getting a form signed doesn't mean they've memorized anything. Read more about the brain and memory in The Art of Teaching Confirmation. Here are a few options:

1. Give them a list of what they need to memorize throughout the year and let them do it at their own pace. You still need to keep track of what they have known and it's good to have random memory checks in class. Let them say anything they know, but they can't say the same one every time. 
2. Put the memory work on the pre-service worship slides every week and right before the service starts, have everyone say it together. 
3. This one is my personal opinion, however, I prefer to have students memorize God's word over the What does this mean? information in the catechism. Once they say that in class, nobody every repeats it. When you're 14, it's not long before those synapses are overwritten. 
4. Put time aside for a quick memory review each week where you ask a question and they need to answer it with one of the memory verses. For example, ask a question about baptism and they can respond with Acts 2:38, Mark 16:16, Romans 6:3-4, etc. That also helps them apply it. 

For the record, most of the adults in the pews on Sunday don't remember their memory work. Give them a review too! Change the verse every month.