YOUTH: Dear New College Student

 Dear College Student, 

When you get to college, you’ll discover that it's nothing like it’s portrayed on TV or in the movies. Remind yourself that those who write TV shows and movies always exaggerate. Always. And they usually portray what they think you want to see, not what is real. College can be a great experience! You can get a good education, make some life-long friends, get some great independent experience, learn the value of money, and have a lot of fun. No matter where you go or what you study, you will also face some challenges and make some bad choices. You may also end up facing or realizing some things about yourself and life that you didn’t expect. 

Challenges? "What do you mean? I'm finally free to make my own choices!" Yes, you are, but yes, challenges. When you’re away from home and most or all of your close friends, who can you reach out to when something has gone wrong? What if you feel alone, lonely, scared, or frustrated because things aren't going the way you thought they would? What if college is harder than you thought it would be? At the top of your list should always be your Heavenly Father, who is always waiting to hear from you.  

College and adult life will probably be more challenging than you thought before you got there. Here are my life tips:

1.          Everyone is amazing, and everyone isn’t. Throughout your senior year, people may have been telling you that you’re super amazing and are going to change the world. When you get to college, you may not feel as amazing as everyone said you would be, and it may give you anxiety. Relax. There’s only one person who truly changed the world, and that was Jesus. You're just a regular human like the rest of us. Even if you're not Him, He is and will always be there for you to turn to when you need Him, which should be every day.

2.          Life is longer than you think. You don’t have to do everything by the time you’re 30, and you have plenty of time to change your mind. Sex is not a recreational activity, and alcohol/drugs shouldn’t be. It only messes you up. You don’t have to have sex with everyone just because you have an urge, and you certainly don’t need to mess with your brain. It’s not even fully developed yet. Protect it. Look for the path that God shows you. Talk to Him. God’s Top Ten (10 Commandments) aren’t just laws; they were given to protect us from making stupid choices. Ask for guidance and step out in faith.  

3.          You may feel that people are judging you and expecting things you’re not sure you can do. Nobody is really judging you, but you. Your professors judge the quality of your work, not you. Other students in your classes are busy focusing on themselves. You’d be surprised how often people aren’t thinking about you. They’ve got their own problems, and if they’re mean, it’s not because of you, it’s because of them. It’s all in your head. Let it go. Ask Jesus to help you stop focusing on yourself so much.

4.          Nobody has a perfect life. Again, and a little slower so you can hear this, nobody has a perfect life. The most dangerous thing you can do is to compare your life, or your life choices, to the lives of others, or listen to them if they talk down to you because you’re not doing what they’re doing. Plenty of foolish people have partied and failed their way out of college, wasting time and a lot of money. God created us with different gifts and skills to be used for His glory. It’s about you living the life God wants you to live, not comparing your life to others. Comparison messes with your head. Don’t go there.

5.          Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is new, today you live. Don’t worry about yesterday, unless you have to fix something you did wrong. Deal with tomorrow, tomorrow. Do your best to make wise choices today. Even if things don’t go the way you hope they will, and sometimes they won’t, you will wake up again tomorrow and face the day’s challenges one step at a time. If you take a misstep or something pushes you onto a new path, look for the adventure. Just make the turn and keep going. Life is a journey, and God is with you. Trust Him and enjoy it!

6.          More people than you think love you. God put them in your life for a reason. Your parents think you’re amazing because they’re your parents. They’re not expecting that you will handle every problem on your own perfectly. Somehow, during my last year of college, my bank account was overdrawn due to a late deposit, and fees started piling up, and I freaked out. The banker was not helping, so I called my dad. If you don’t have a dad, call your mom; if you don’t have a mom, call your grandparents, call an Aunt or Uncle. Call me! More people love you and will help you than you think. Let them. If you become overwhelmed, pray and then choose the right person to call. Choose the one who will give you love over the phone and tell you to relax, and give you sound advice. Pray. Believe me, it’s not the end of the world. No matter what you do, the world keeps going. God always loves you, and He gave you people to help you.

7.          Most importantly, only God knows the big picture of your life. In the big picture, you may have multiple jobs or multiple careers. What you study in college is not what you have to do for the next 50 years. Our lives are puzzles, and God is putting it together. Being in college is not a life-or-death situation. Ask Him what the two of you are going to do with each day. He’s got the big stuff… always has… always will. You’ve got the little stuff. Go to class. Do your homework. Make wise choices.

Never, ever forget that you are not alone in this world. One of the reasons God gave us His word is to remind us that He is here… always… to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20). He also left His Spirit here to help us (John 14:16). When you need encouragement, use your resources.